Top Gear (2002 TV series)/Series 1/Episode 8/The News (4th December, 2002)
Series 1, Episode 8 featured the show's 8th installment of The News.
Article 1: Rio Ferdinand's Parking Woes[edit | edit source]
Jeremy Clarkson begins by talking about a parking ticket[1] which football star Rio Ferdinand had recently received, wherein his Aston Martin Vanquish did not fit the designated lines in which one could park their car. Clarkson criticises how Ferdinand's car was parked "badly" as though it were a competition being judged, and Hammond proposes that there should be incentivisation for good parking, such as a rosette on the windscreen, to which Dawe also suggests free pub tokens.
Article 2: Clarkson's Parking Anecdotes[edit | edit source]
Whilst on the subject of parking, Jeremy Clarkson follows up the initial story by mentioning that near the Wood Lane studios in London is a multi-storey parking garage that Clarkson uses, which charges it patrons at a rate of £9 per 2 hours, and if an unfortunate customer happens to be just 5 minutes too late, they are charged an additional £9 for their overstay. The week prior, instead of using this garage, Clarkson decided to park in Oxford on double-yellow lines outside where he wanted to be, took his children out for the day, saw Die Another Day in the cinemas, and came back 5 hours later to only pay a £20 fine. Dawe recalls that Clarkson had previously invented what is colloquially known as the "valet park" when the latter used to live in Fulham near a car impound lot. Clarkson would go to town at night, get himself intoxicated before walking home, and wake up the next day to find his car towed back "home" at said nearby lot.
Article 3: Car News[edit | edit source]
After this, the trio briefly discuss the facelifted Citroën Berlingo Multispace, which Clarkson had previously reviewed in the first episode. The company has just announced a facelift, and although not pretty (with Clarkson comparing the vehicle's styling to Ann Widdecombe being hit in the head with a hammer), is still the same value for money as the old model, as Citroën have decided to continue honouring their "VAT back" deal which means the car can be had for around £8,000 all in. Jason then tries to portray the Vauxhall Astra Turbo in a positive light, much to Clarkson's chagrin. Though cheaper and almost the same power as the Ford Focus RS at £16,000, Clarkson points out that the badge is highly undesirable, with even Dawe about to lament that the 0 - 60 time was lacklustre compared to the Focus RS' predecessor, the Ford Escort Cosworth.
Article 4: Audi TT Gearbox[edit | edit source]
The final article concerns the Audi TT, which Clarkson had deemed "Uncool" on the show's Cool Wall. Audi have announced a 3.2 litre V6 model will soon be available in showrooms, boasting 240 brake horsepower over the previous model's 225. The car is set to launch with a new transmission type called DSG, which basically entails two separate computer-controlled gearboxes acting as one. Hammond is unsure what this means, so he ordered some press materials from Audi to be sent over, and attempts to explain this before Clarkson takes umbrage with Hammond's presentation style. Attempting to inject "a bit of thesp", Clarkson then has a go at reading aloud the contents of the press release himself before giving up due to struggling to comprehend how this transmission is supposed to function. Looking for an "engineer" in the audience, Clarkson hands the press release to a blue-shirted male member of the audience and asking him to figure out how it works, Clarkson otherwise stating that the car's gearbox does not work due to it being "witchcraft".
