Top Gear (2002 TV series)/Series 5/Episode 6/Unabridged

Episode 6
Thumb 1Thumb 2Thumb 3Thumb 4 Jeremy Clarkson reviews some classic Golfs. Cheap Porsche Challenge board. Clarkson behind the wheel of a VW Golf. Paul Anderson's Porsche 928 prior to filming.
Prod. code	GFGA690F
No.	45 (since 2002), 607 (since 1977)
Runtime	59:36
Viewers	4.87 million
Prev ep.	Series 5, Episode 5
Next ep.	Series 5, Episode 7
Airdate	5th December, 2004 30th August, 2010
International Airdates 19th January, 2005 22nd January, 2005 22nd April, 2005 1st May, 2005 4th December, 2005 16th January, 2006 26th March, 2006 7th October, 2006 10th June, 2007 17th August, 2009 26th August, 2009 12th September, 2009 5th July, 2010 8th May, 2011 4th February, 2013 27th January, 2014 Dates may not be 100% accurate.

Series 5, Episode 6 of Top Gear aired on the 5th December, 2004. It was the sixth episode of [[Top Gear (2002 TV series)/Series 5|Series 5]]; the 45th episode of Top Gear since the show's 2002 reboot and the 607th episode overall, including compilations. It was the 598th episode since Top Gear entered national broadcasting in 1978, and was the 21st programme to air in 2004 out of a total 24. Series 5, Episode 6 was originally broadcast in 576i at a 16:9 Widescreen aspect ratio on British television channel BBC Two. The episode was presented by Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond, and James May, alongside The Stig. Cliff Richard was the Star in a Reasonably-Priced Car, in addition to blind army veteran and land speed record holder Billy Baxter also taking the Suzuki Liana around the track, with Clarkson as co-driver.

This episode is perhaps best-known for featuring Top Gear's second Cheap Car Challenge, the £1,500 Porsche Challenge, where the three presenters were tasked with finding a used rear-wheel drive Porsche for £1,500 or less and completing a series of challenges with them.

Synopsis

As narrated by Jeremy Clarkson:

• How fast can a blind man get round our track?
• How much Porsche can you buy for 1500 quid?
• And Britain's most successful recording artist ever is in our Reasonably-Priced Car.

Series 5, Episode 6 begins with an unusually low, panning shot which switches from a floor-mounted TV displaying the Top Gear logo to a clearing in the audience, before stopping in front of a silver Volkswagen Golf GTI. Jeremy Clarkson then states how the car revolutionised the hot hatchback and how he voted for the Golf GTI in the Car of the Century poll held in 1999, before cutting to the episode's first film.

Volkswagen Golf GTI

Though the Golf GTI nameplate was initially very sporting and athletic, Clarkson notes that as time went on, the car got heavier and slower to the point the fourth-generation model was slower from 0 - 60 MPH than a diesel-powered Skoda Octavia, a saloon car from the same parent company. Clarkson notes that this new GTI is crucial, as a lot of the car's customer base switched to 4x4 off-roaders for family transport. At its core, the new car provides prospective owners with a big boot, folding rear seats, seatbelts, airbags, and lots of space, which are all very important factors to consider when purchasing a car for the whole family. At £20,000, the car is every bit as suitable as the BMW X5, which is double the price of the Golf. However, unlike the X5, the GTI's fuel consumption is much lighter and the insurance group is much lower. Clarkson moves on to the car's styling, whose sole criterium is that the car must look suitably changed, but in a subtle manner. The original Golf for instance had black rear window louvres, gold BBS wheels, a stripe down the lower side and red pinstriping around the front grille. Clarkson thinks the new car has accurately recaptured this aesthetic. However, at 1.3 tonnes, the car is almost twice as heavy as the original Golf GTI, but has compensated for this with twice the power from a 2-litre turbocharged Inline-4. Even after putting the car into sixth gear at 30 MPH, the GTI pulls a suitable amount of torque to quickly enter the ideal rev range. What's more, the car has no perceivable turbo lag and if ordered with Audi's DSG gearbox, the Golf GTI is capable of 0 - 60 MPH in 6.9 seconds towards a top speed of 147 MPH.

The Volkswagen Golf GTI.

Up to this point, Clarkson holds a very favourable outlook towards the car; sans the Tornado Red paintjob, the Volkswagen Golf GTI is fast, practical, and stylish, an unlikely triumvirate of characteristics for a car to have. The day prior to filming, he took the car out on "Top Gear's secret road test route" and found the car equally as pleasing, meaning it's as good on the road as it is on the track. Much to Clarkson's delight, he is impressed by the new car's increased performance and claims that the car has regained the "puppy dog enthusiasm" that was missing in the previous model. It does everything that a consumer could possibly want from a hot hatchback - the unassuming practicality of being able to take the children to school and leaving it outside at night without worrying about vandalism, the performance to drive home "as though you've sat on a wasp", and enough class so that if a driver were to park up at a 5-Star hotel, the concierge would open the door for them. In closing, the new Golf has successfully recaptured its original image; it's everything, to all men. Jeremy Clarkson strongly recommends the car over a big 4x4 in terms of "non-sensible" family transport.

Back in the studio, Richard Hammond gives a brief overview of the Golf's rivals. Each of them were driven around the Top Gear Test Track by The Stig, and their lap times placed on a special, smaller lap time board for hot hatchbacks. The Golf GTI was then taken for a lap. With a lot of wheelspin off the line, The Stig noisily thrashes the Golf around the track for a seemingly tidy lap to the soundtrack of "What Car" by Cliff Richard. The car remains planted, but clearly understeers as he veers onto the grass during the Follow-Through, partially losing the car's rear end before straightening up. The car exhibits similar behaviour through the last two corners, unable to clip either apex and running close to the grass, gently riding the crest outside the start/finish line.

Position	Car	Time	Track Conditions
1	Honda Civic Type-R	1:32.8	Dry
2	SEAT Léon Cupra	1:32.9	Dry
3	Volkswagen Golf GTI	1:33.7	Dry
4	Renault Mégane Sport 225	1:34.0	Dry
5	MINI Cooper S Works	1:34.2	Dry

To the surprise of both hosts, the car fails to beat its older, rebadged brother (the SEAT Léon Cupra) and the aging Honda Civic Type-R. Hammond also notes that the Type-R is cheaper than the Golf, but Clarkson then remarks that Honda's brand image is not as highly regarded as that as Volkswagen's, and that on the whole, the Golf is the better package, deeming the car a "sensation". The camera then switches to James May, who begins reading out The News for that week. The camera then switches to James May, who begins reading out The News for that week.

The News

Article 1: Vauxhall Astra VXR

This week's first news article links directly back to the preceding segment, with May revealing Vauxhall's striking successor to the previously humdrum Astra Turbo; 240 BHP, turbocharged 2-litre engine. Clarkson is concerned that the car will be overly expensive, but May notes that it'll be both under £20,000 and front-wheel drive, meaning it'll be interesting to drive at the very least. However, that said, Clarkson does disparage the car's interior, dismissing it as resembling a man's wash bag.

Article 2: Schrempp's S-Class Stuttgart Security Swindle

DaimlerChrysler CEO Jürgen E. Schrempp wanted a new car, so he ordered his company to build him one at the expense of over half a million pounds; a Mercedes-Benz S-Class with 5cm thick armour plating, landmine-resistant fuel tank, bulletproof tyres, and bulletproof windows to name a few of the car's security enhancements. However, during a company meeting in Stuttgart, during which he was inside for 20 minutes, he left to find his car stolen much to the collective merriment of the audience. Hammond briefly envisions what the following phone call must have been like.

Article 3: Stolen Car Secrets

On the topic of stealing, Clarkson mentions that ex-KGB agents are allegedly stealing industry secrets from Volkswagen and selling them to the rest of the motor industry, to which end Hammond wonders if this is a plot in a novel Clarkson may be writing. According to an interview supposedly conducted with the boss of Volkswagen the night prior to filming, every month their computers suffer an unidentifiable security breach which they don't hear the end of until a year or two down the line, when a rival manufacturer incorporates their innovation into their design. Clarkson and May marvel over how the KGB is behind this, before Hammond and May mockingly ask what the "red dot" on Clarkson's forehead is.

Article 4: New Tigra

Returning back to Vauxhall, Clarkson annnounces that the company have brought out a 1.3-litre diesel version of their Tigra. Hammond and May take this news in a predictably negative manner, but Clarkson reassures the pair that this is a good business choice, as many people who'll buy these cars in the big city will likely not exceed low speed limits but still want the enjoyment of a sporty-looking convertible, even if they won't be able to reach 60 MPH. Clarkson's broadcasting compadres are concerned over Clarkson's attitude towards this car, and wonder if there's anything wrong with him. It's at this point a female member of the audience interjects with the preference that'd she'd "rather have a pedal car", to which Clarkson replies that very same week, he found out that cyclists are twice as likely to have a heart attack than drivers. He surmises that if you're in a car and pedalling it, the likelihood of a heart attack rises even further. After a brief series of jokes, Clarkson reaffirms his belief that the diesel-powered Tigra is a great idea.

Article 5: 4x4 Health Warnings

The NEF's idea for 4x4s.

James May relays information that the New Economics Foundation believes that by 2020, 4x4s will account for a third of all deaths in the United Kingdom, and so should come with health warning labels, similar to packets of cigarettes. This annoys Clarkson, naming "smacking children", "passive smoking", and "cheese" as all potential third-biggest killers in recent years, the latter actually mandating government health warnings. After recent allegations that sex is to be avoided due to an outbreak of chlamydia, Clarkson dismisses the NEF's claims and accuses those within the organisation as "bitter and twisted failures whose lives haven't worked out" who don't want other people to have the fun that they have missed out on. At this outburst, Hammond remarks that it's great to have Clarkson "back" after his previous defence of the Tigra which seemed leftfield and out-of-character given prior beliefs.

Article 6: New Lada

In 1997, Lada bid farewell to the UK market by offering requisition of its cars and repatriation to Russia due to a total end of manufacturer support. However, now the company has claimed to reinvent itself with its newest design; the Kalina. Though on the surface the car looks very poor, Hammond notes that its styling was designed to compete with other marques, namely the Fiat Brava and Toyota Starlet, both of which are cars that ceased production a while prior to the Kalina's introduction. They won't be sold in the United Kingdom, but will be in parts of Europe for the equivalent of £3,000, the majority of which Hammond notes will be the lost the instant it's driven off the forecourt. Jeremy Clarkson offers a Top Gear Top Tip to "avoid" this car, concluding The News.

£1,500 Porsche Challenge, Part 1

Recently, the producers gave the three hosts £1,500. They were then instructed to purchase a Porsche with the money that they were given. Once they had done this, they were to meet up in London's Exchange Square to see which of the trio had got the best deal. Hammond was the first to arrive, paying just £750 for his 1981 Porsche 924. May was next, with his 944, before Clarkson arrived in a V8-powered 928. Each of the trio complement and disparage each other's choices, before being handed a challenge envelope; veteran cars can go from London to Brighton, but can they? The distance is 70 miles, and predictably, it isn't long before Clarkson's 928 overheats for the first time. Springing various leaks, the car has 15 litres of water dumped into the engine bay before it sets off again, with James having to pull over after just 2 more miles due to a puncture. As May's tyre is repaired, Clarkson's 928 begins to leak fuel. After six hours, the cars are still in South London, and as May's windscreen trim peels off, Clarkson's coolant warning light comes on, forcing the trio to stop again. Another hour later, they are finally on the motorway, where the cars begin to find their feet. The only car which has yet to have a fault at this point is Hammond's 924, and after another hour, the pair of Hammond and May make it to Brighton Pier, where they are handed the second challenge.

This subsequent envelope stipulates that the trio are to modify their cars using the money left over from their initial purchase. Clarkson eventually arrives at sundown on the back of an AA lorry, where he is briefed on the task at hand only to be dismayed once he realises he's spent his entire budget on his car. Back in the studio, Hammond allocates points based on their performance thus far, before Clarkson introduces the episode's guest star.

Star in a Reasonably-Priced Car (Cliff Richard)

The first of the two guest stars appearing in this episode is Britain's best-selling recording artist, Harry Webb, who is perhaps better known by his stage name, Cliff Richard. At the age of "44" (in reality, 64 at the time), Cliff looks surprisingly young for his age, and is currently aiming for his sixth consecutive decade where he achieved a #1 hit, in a year which his calendar outsold David Beckham's. After some small talk, Cliff talks about his car history, who started off with a Sunbeam Alpine before aiming for a more Americanised persona, choosing his subsequent cars in an according fashion. As a noted Christian, Clarkson is interested in Cliff's input in regards to May's theory about adopting a "Christian" driving stance when driving through London, to which Cliff agrees.

Out on the track, Cliff's most terrifying experience was during the preliminary laps in which he was driven around by The Stig, with concerns over the Liana's small, budget tyres. Cliff opines that stars should be given around a week to practice, before Clarkson shows the audience a brief clip of Cliff spinning out at the second-to-last corner during a practice lap. Cliff's actual lap is clean and non-eventful, and is complimented by Clarkson.

Position	Star	Time	Track Conditions
11	Martin Clunes	1:50	Dry
12	Jeremy Clarkson	1:50	Dry
13	Cliff Richard	1:50	Dry
14	Lionel Richie	1:50	Dry
15	Patrick Stewart	1:50	Dry

Cliff places a respectable 13th overall, his lap time of 1:50 equalling several other stars, including host Jeremy Clarkson.

Restoration Rip-off

^{Main article: Top Gear (2002 TV series)/Series 5/Restoration Rip-off}
This week, the candidate is an old Mini with a more illustrious history than most. Irish rally driver Paddy Hopkirk would drive another such Mini, prepared by John Cooper, to victory at the 1964 Monte-Carlo Rally, but it's this car, 407 ARX, with which he demonstrated the Mini's racing potential a year earlier. The car's current owner possesses the car's basic chassis and bodyshell, along with a majority of the period-correct parts the car requires, but it needs the extra push from the public so that it may live once again. Every tuned Mini since its creation, up to and including the "Cooper" trim Minis manufactured by BMW, owe their existence to this one car.

Star in a Reasonably-Priced Car (Billy Baxter)

At this point in time, Top Gear is often inundated by letters from nobodies who wish to have a go around the track in the Suzuki Liana. Typically, these letters are dismissed without any further action. However, this particular letter comes from a man named Billy Baxter, a former soldier who was blinded in 1997 by a rare eye disease, and who aims to beat Richard Whiteley, the slowest driver on the board. With Jeremy Clarkson sat in the passenger seat, relaying the necessary visual information, the pair were able to successfully navigate the car around the track at speed.

Position	Star	Time	Track Conditions
42	Johnny Vegas	1:58.6	Dry
43	Harry Enfield	2:01	Dry
44	Billy Baxter	2:02	Dry
45	Terry Wogan	2:03.4	Dry
46	Richard Whiteley	2:06	Dry

Amazingly, despite his disability, Baxter was able to get the Liana around the track 4 seconds quicker than Whiteley, also beating Terry Wogan in the process.

£1,500 Porsche Challenge, Part 2

After their troubled drive to Brighton, the three Porsches from earlier in the show were taken to the airfield and modified by each of the three presenters. Obviously, with Clarkson having spent all his money on his car, the task of modifying his car was more of a challenge, but all three presenters altered their cars and placed them under tarps, ready for adjudication from members of Porsche Club GB. James is the first to unveil his car, and although it looks identical on the surface, save for some bathroom sealant around the windscreen and some DIY fixtures on the interior, May spent the majority of his money cleaning up the engine to a professional standard, which draws some initial criticism from the other two presenters before they realise the judge would probably have a more concours-oriented criteria. Hammond is next to reveal his car, giving his 924 a sporting paint job reminiscent of Gulf Porsches from the past. He also replaced the gear knob with a chrome skull, added some track-oriented performance upgrades, a faux carbon-fibre hood with air intake, and stuck a "Turbo" sticker on the tailgate, despite not adding a turbocharger to the car. Clarkson, on his extremely limited budget, instead decided to coat his entire car in what was tantamount to "blackboard paint" as described by Hammond, who then proceeds to write Clarkson's name on the driver's door in white chalk.

The judges are somewhat impressed by May's engine despite having their reservations over his Tippexed switches and handyman fixes, mock Clarkson for his paintjob (which he describes as mimicking the SR-71 Blackbird and is somehow "better") and critique Richard's gear knob as "vulgar", to which Hammond counters as "bling". As the judges make their decision, May is handed another Golden Envelope from which he reads a new set of instructions, stating that The Stig is to take all three cars for a lap around the test track, with each presenting earning a point for every second under 1:35, and losing a point for every second under. The Stig struggles to start Clarkson's 928, which pulls away slowly in a cloud of smoke. The car eventually builds up quite the momentum, and is able to set a 1:45. May's car sets a 1:43, but pays a hefty price by spraying brown sludge all over his clean, polished engine. Hammond's car is slower than the latter, fitting in-between the other two. This is followed by the next challenge, 'Elevenses', where the presenters were tasked with creating the longest tyre streaks.

1. Richard Hammond (Porsche 924) - 35 feet
2. James May (Porsche 944) - 31 feet
3. Jeremy Clarkson (Porsche 928) - 1 inch

Due to the latter's car lacking the necessary torque to perform smoking starts, Clarkson decides to do doughnuts instead, which he claims are "Tibetan" elevens. He measures the resultant streaks to a total of 42 yards, or 126 feet, but is summarily dismissed. A producer hands the trio a final envelope instructing the three to sell their car in the name of profit. Back in the studio, each of the presenters' performances are evaluated and calculated within a scoring table.

The Cheap Porsche Challenge

Host	Bonnet Up	Fuel	Lonely Hearts	First Total	Elevenses	Lap	Concours	Second Total	Selling	Final Total
JC	-35	-90	10	-115	0	-10	3	-122	300	178
JM	-5	0	15	10	15	-8	10	27	-100	-73
RH	0	10	0	10	20	-9	8	29	-1500	-1471

Despite gaining the upper hand, Hammond is unable to sell his car, thus going from a slight lead of 29 points down to a major deficit of -1471 points, thoroughly putting him out of the running. May sells his car for £1400, gaining £500 from his initial purchase, but still losing a further £100, demoting him to -73 points. Going into the final round as the underdog, Clarkson decides to bend the rules in much the same way as he did earlier by advertising his "Lonely Hearts" advertisements towards homosexuals, by selling his car for spare parts, netting himself £1200, and then having the engine and seats turned into functional pieces of furniture valued at a further £600. This not only results in a surplus of 300 points, but means Clarkson is the only host to finish the challenge with a positive points account of 178, and means he is the overall winner.

Reception

FinalGear

On FinalGear, Series 5, Episode 6 was critically acclaimed, placing sixth in the FinalGear Best Episode Poll held from 2004 - 2006 to determine the best episodes of Top Gear at the time. The episode received 8 of the 231 votes cast.

Topgearbox Poll

In September 2015, Series 5, Episode 6 would be voted as the 94th greatest Top Gear episode of all time. According to Sean McKellar, the episode features "the ultimate cheap car challenge" and is a must-see episode.

United Kingdom

Here is a list of all the times Series 5, Episode 6 aired officially on a BBC-owned television station in the United Kingdom.

Channel	Date	Time	Cut	Definition	Type
	5th December, 2004	20:00	Original	Standard	Premiere

Worldwide

Internationally, the episode would first premiere on BBC World on the 19th January 2005, more than a month following its UK release. It would then be shown in Poland on TVN Turbo 3 days later in a longer form, before premiering in the Netherlands on Veronica exactly three months after that. Russia would air the episode in its own cut-down form on NTV from May 2005, before BBC Canada began showing the episode in Canada that December. Australia would air the episode early the following year, before BBC Prime gave the full-length episode its worldwide premiere that March. The episode would be reshown in a handful of countries thereafter, but would not premiere in many Baltic and Balkan nations such as the Czech Republic, Hungary and Estonia until as late as mid-2009, a full four and a half years after the episode was first shown in the United Kingdom. Italy wouldn't show the episode on its local version of DMAX until 2013 (though the country had previously aired the episode on BBC Prime), and Japan wouldn't air the episode on Fuji TV until January 2014, almost a full decade after its original UK premiere.